Category Archives: Traveling

Two Wheels, No Luck : February 28th – March 6th

March 8, 2019 SamuelLMoney Leave a comment

I wake up and notice my stuff is the level of damp that is usually attributed to something spilling. I climb down from my bunk, which I guess is closer to the height of a volleyball net than a normal bunk bed, and grab my bag. Damp, as well. I walk outside and notice the morning dew has covered everything in water, so the doors must have been open the room and let the water in. A necessity in the quick stopover type travel required for our time limited motorbike trip through Vietnam is that anything wet be dry before we leave for the next city, so this doesn’t help. I shrug it off as beyong my control and head outside for breakfast.

Back to Being Tourists

For the most part, the maximize the use of our time by shooting from place to place in a city to try to see as much as we can. In Trang An (the area of Ninh Binh where the cool stuff is), we find five or six suggested things and estimate we can do about three of them before we run out of sunlight. We start with a popular boat ride through some caves.

The problem with doing very touristy things lies in their objective. The experience needs to be simple enough that anyone can do it, so it essentially amounts to being herded through an experience for however long they decide it should take. That is not ideal for maximizing the use of your time. We are given a choice of four routes, two of which contain a filming area for the movie Kong: Skull Island, but we choose the route with the most caves.

We hop in a boat with two British girls and a small Vietnamese woman rows us down the river. Normally, Ryan and I do not hesitate to do physical labor, but we are far past doing labor when we have paid tourist prices for things. We soak in the view of the limestone karsts as we head into caves. Each passage through the caves requires precise navigation from our guide and usually reminds me how grateful I am that yoga has made me flexible enough to fully fold forward as rocks narily miss me. As we weave in and out of caves, we stop off at small temples.

The downside of the ease provided by the touristy activities is that we are stuck in the boat long after we have fully taken in the views. We have no option to speed the trip up. Nevertheless, after we finish, we thank our guide and speed off to Bai Dinh Pagoda.

We arrive to the gate that Google has marked as Bai Dinh Pagoda and it is closed, but we see some nice views and decide to stop off to take some cool shots of our bikes. Afterwards, we roam around until we find a parking lot. Everywhere in Vietnam, you have to pay to park. The place to park is a decent walk from where we want to actually be. A short walk takes us to a ticket office where they offer to give us a ride in an electric car through the pagoda or to go down a road and just walk it. They say it is about three kilometers, so we opt to walk.

The initial walk is through a gauntlet of little shops selling the same stuff as you walk all the way down. We walk up a long, gradual slope until we reach the Bai Dinh Pagoda and grab some pictures. Honestly, we thought this was the only attraction in the complex until we looked over and saw a giant Budda statue over on the hill. We walked up some stairs and saw some signs for other things. We continued moving from attraction to attraction until we reached the area with signs that the electric car could drive us back. It was about a dollar to not have to walk the three kilometers back, and it went through a perimeter road that let us see some other things, including a beautiful garden area they had made around the perimeter. Just a bit more tourism and we could call it quits.

The next ride took us back past our homestay to a mountain called Hung Mua. After some touristy shops and restaurants, there is a set of stairs leading up to two viewpoints, one with a pretty cool dragon on top. The steps were all uneven and there were more than a few of them, but a little quad burning never killed anyone. As we reach the top, we see people in full wedding attire up there taking pictures. Kudos for not sweating through that stuff. As we reach the top, we see plenty of people have climbed up to the dragon. It doesn’t look particularly safe, but I climb up to get a view of the sunset. Other tourists are trying to push past each other near the dragon, where there is about enough room for one person on either side and a straight drop down if something happens. We head back down the mountain and go home.

I acknowledge that we have a timeline for the trip and want to see as much as we can, so I sit down with dinner to map out our desired route and figure out things like driving time and distance between cities. With this information, I figure out what days we should be arriving in each city, when we will need oil changes and how many days we can stay in each city. This takes significantly longer than I had planned and I realize our next day of driving will be about ten hours to our next destination, our longest day of riding. So to sleep I go.

Jumping in the Deep End

Our first big day of riding being the longest day was not particularly ideal. The route I had mapped was a scenic one that kept us off of the highway (QL1) because that’s boring and pretty dangerous with how wild the trucks are. About two hours in we stop to check out a UNESCO world heritage site and then continue through. A few more hours of riding and we stop for lunch. We get some delicious fried rice Vietnamese style and see some signs for “Happy Full Month” with what looks like a birthday cake. A Vietnamese man at the table tells us the party is for him and offers us some beer. We drink with the group before heading back onto the road. A few more hours of riding and we hit some beautiful mountains but it’s starting to get a bit dark.

We have about an hour left, so we decide to power through. We stop for gas and it gets darker faster than we anticipated. We continue and everything turns to black, the headlights don’t do too much. As we continue through the mountains, it starts to get colder. So now we can’t see and we are shivering. Going faster makes us colder, so we are torn at what speed to move at. Nearing one of the many sharp turns, I see a dark figure move from the left and realize it is a cow running into the road. I slam on my brakes and swerve around the cow at the last second. We go a little further before I motion Ryan to stop. The cold and darkness has significantly decreased our speed, so our estimated arrival is getting later and later. As we decided to find a hotel, a light turned on and a dog ran out of a house towards us. As we took off, I looked behind me to see the dog just barely missing the back of my bike.

We hadn’t seen any civilization in about thirty minutes, so the hope of a hotel felt slim. About two hundred feet after the decision was made, we see the sign for a hotel. We pull in, the owner locks up our bikes and offers us dinner. We put all of our stuff in the room while he prepares dinner. I head out of the room to get food and the owner is sitting with another man. The man reaches for a handshake and as I reach out my hand, the owner is typing into Google Translate. Out of his phone comes “This is a Vietnamese Police Officer”. Welp, this is the end of our journey, I guess. Technically, it is a little less than legal for us to be riding bikes through the country since it is close to impossible for a non Vietnamese citizen to get the necessary license. The owner then informed me that the officer was her to fill out temporary residence information, something we have to do everywhere, but never with an officer before.

We fill out the papers and are led inside for dinner. The owner pours us shots of alcohol and we take two as a group, including the officer, so we can check that off the bucket list. We eat the traditional meal of rice, morning glory, pork and tofu while the owner’s wife puts us on Facebook live. Enough of that and we finally get to sleep.

Time With Locals

We finish the ride to Phong Nha in the morning and arrive at the hostel just in time for the morning information speech. The hostel employee runs through pretty much everything to do in the area. We had already decided to check out some of the caves while we got oil changes because some of the best caves in the world are located in that area. It was going to be a pretty pricey day but the hostel offered a group trip to some of the less expensive caves for even cheaper, so we did that. The first cave was a boat ride through and then a walk out an impressive cave. We had sat on boats and seen smaller caves in Trang An, so although more impressive, it felt like more of the same.

For the second cave, we hiked up about four hundred steps. Catwalks led us through the cavern in a setting that looked like it was ripped out of Gears of War. We made our way back to town and grabbed our bikes from the shop and got lunch. The girls in our room had mentioned going to something called the Duck Stop so we decided to head there.

Google led us to a bumpy dirt road and we found the dirt road. The first sign as you enter reads “Donald Trump’s Office”. We parked our bikes and an eleven year old Vietnamese boy told us to sit down. He cracked open some peanuts, grabbed a few pepper pellets and a red powder and put it into my hand. Delicious. He handed us a menu and told us to pick an option. The available options were one free drink, one traditional vietnamese pancake, a garden tour with a view, a duck massage and riding a water buffalo through the rice fields. The choice was to do all of them, or to do everything except the water buffalo. For about two dollars difference, we chose the water buffalo.

The boy led us through the garden, explaining what everything was while we tried to guess at what vegetables he was trying to say when his impressive level of English happened to fail him. After that, he gave us some oddly feminine shoes and a straw hat and sent us into an area called “Duck Heaven”.

We entered and were greeted by at least twenty ducks. The man in the area had each of us stick out our hand with food in it and lower down to the ducks. As the ducks ferociously slammed their beaks into your hand, it created somewhat of a massage. Then he had us do a few more tricks before having us hide food under our feet while squeezing them together. The ducks again smashed their beaks towards the food creating an intense massage. As a finale, the owner showed us how to hold the ducks and got a cool slow motion video of us tossing them into some water. Now to meet our main man, Donald.

Donald Trump is a water buffalo who lives on the farm and does very little work. He worked on other farms for years before coming to the Duck Stop. I was a bit worried about riding him, after all we had learned about riding elephants, but as I hopped on and felt the amount of muscle, I realized he was unphased by me. I rode him through a bit of water and then did a little photoshoot with him before hopping off.

We looked for our original Vietnamese friend to say goodbye and were told he was at the viewpoint, which he didn’t take us to. So another Vietnamese boy, about eight, took us to the viewpoint to say goodbye. The younger boy was much more playful, so we raced up the hill and joked around as we got up to the viewpoint. He asked for my phone to take a picture, and as soon as I handed it to him, he found a game and started playing. Impressed, I taught him how to play the game. On the way down, Ryan offered him a piggyback ride, but he opted for my back instead. A quick farewell to our new friends and we were off.

We hopped in the pool at our hostel and searched around for food. The hostel had a pretty decent looking burger, so I chose that and we grabbed some drinks while making friends. It has been interesting throughout our trip that every country we have gone to, we see patterns of people from the same countries. Thailand was Dutch, German and Russian. So far Vietnam has been mostly Americans and British. While we ate and drink, our table slowly filled up with British people until it was the only accent you cold hear. After a bit, we decided to get some sleep for our ride the next day.

Adaptability

Our ride to Hue was to take about nine hours, plus we wanted to stop at the Vinh Moc tunnels, which would add about an hour and require some highway driving. After some research and finagling, I managed to find a route that took us through the beautiful Phong Nha area for a bit before shooting us down the coast to Vinh Moc and then further to Hue with minimal highway time.

The Vinh Moc tunnels were an amazing experience. Essentially an entire village lived in and out of the tunnels for about six years while Americans dropped seven hundred tons of bombs. Again, these sites are sort of an awkward situation to be American, but after learning our biased history of the war, it’s interesting to hear theirs. We have been saying it would be interesting to see what a non biased country teaches about the war. Regardless, the tunnel is made of clay, covers several kilometers and consists of three levels. The first level contained meetings and higher ups, it was only about ten meters deep. The second level was about seventeen meters deep and contained all of the living quarters, each of which consisted of less than a three square meter room for an entire family. Each level contained slides down to the next level in case of a bomb dropping, they could get deeper into the tunnels. The third level was used for storage and was over twenty meters deep. These numbers did not calm me.

Descending into the tunnels was quite the experience. Vietnamese people are a bit shorter than me, so the ceiling of most of the tunnels was about five foot six inches, Crouching required. The bigger rooms were of a height that Ryan and I could both stand comfortably, but the through tunnels definitely left some clay marks on my shoulders. About an hour of being led through the tunnels by an English speaking guide and hearing about the not so nice things America did and we were headed back down the coast.

A Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted

Hue looks like any tourist city, a sharp contrast to most of Vietnam

We arrived in Hue and checked out the city. For the long rides through Vietnam, we see no other white people and get to see the real culture. Every city that we are suggested to stop in is filled with westerners brought in by the buses. Most of these people will likely never see the real Vietnamese culture. Hue reminds me of what it would look like if you just told someone what tourists like and they tried to recreate those ideas without ever seeing them. It works though, it was filled to the brim with tourists. We spent the first night checking out the city and making a plan for hitting the tourist spots the next day.

I woke up early and Ryan wanted to sleep, so I decided to hit some of the spots alone. My bike wouldn’t start, so I decided to kickstart it. Kickstarting wasn’t working. It was already hot, so I was already sweating. Vietnamese people are helpful, which is great most of the time, but some of the time, they are a bit pushy with their help and the language barrier limits a polite way to ask them to stop. The front desk girl at the hostel came out and proceeded to blast me with questions about the bike that I had already checked. She grabbed the ignition and repeatedly tried to start it, which sounded like it was just making things worse. I finally managed to get her to walk away and another man walked over, looked at my bike and immediately started it. I said thank you and he turned it off, then it refused to start for either of us. He offered to take me to a mechanic.

Frustrated and sweaty, I agree. He pushes my bike into the street, rides alongside it and tells me to get on. He then puts his foot on the bike and then pushes my dead bike through insane traffic with just his foot. A wild experience I won’t soon forget. He takes me to a mechanic and they diagnose a few problems. He tells me an exorbitant price, but at this point, I’m so frustrated with the bike that I just agree to pay it. They tell me it will take an hour. I come back in an hour, mind much clearer, and realize that I wildly overpaid. I ask for the man who spoke to me about the repairs, they say he is not there. I decide to just come back.

I ride about ten minutes, the bike sputters and dies in the street. Again in the sun, my bike will not start. I take it to another mechanic,and thanks to Google Translate, we diagnose a problem that will take a few hours to fix. Frustration increases as our plan to leave the city that day come to an end and I hop on Ryan’s bike to check out the tourist sites.

We ride to an abandoned waterpark and reminisce about Geauga Lake. A three story dragon that used to house an aquarium is now filled with broken glass and graffiti. We snap some pictures and see some more of the park before headng off.

We both decided we don’t want to spend money to walk through more temples so we skip some. We head to the pagoda dedicated to Thich Quang Duc who self immolated himself in Saigon to protest the persecution of Buddhists in South Vietnam. The pagoda is beautiful and contains the car he drive to Saigon, which can be seen in the famous picture of his immolation. We depart to grab some roadside lunch and have the locals laugh at our attempts at Vietnamese.

A quick stop to the Purple Forbidden City, which we decide to just drive around since we don’t really want to pay to see more tourist stuff. As we are leaving, we see an entire area filled with American military vehicles obtained during the Vietnam war. We stop to look through all of them and notice all of the signs refer to America as “US Imperialists”, awkward. Enough tourism, time to head home.

We head to a local coffee shop to grab some egg coffee, a Vietnamese treat which whips an egg into coffee. The first sips is a frothy, sweet custard and both of us quickly exclaim our joy at a coffee we both like. As I get about halfway through, I taste a sharp bitterness. Most things in Vietnam are brought to you in a visually pleasing way and then require you to mix them. The coffee was no difference. I had already consumed most of the sweet part, so I mixed the remainder and then suffered through the extreme bitterness of Vietnamese coffee. Lesson learned, time to go get my bike.

We head back to the shop, I pay even more money and grab my bike. It seems to be working, so I ride back to the original shop to get some money back for the lack of repair. As I have a back and forth with the two remaining guys at the shop, Google Translate fails us. A nearby Vietnamese man walks by and talks to the mechanics. Then he informs me that the original man that I dealt with had nothing to do with the shop, took all of that money he said the repairs cost and then paid the mechanic what they said the repairs cost. In all my travels, the first time I have been scammed. I am not happy, but the consequence is low when the buying power of the US dollar is so high here, so I take it as an expensive lesson.

Top Gear Style

The ride to Da Nang contains the Hai Van Pass, made famous by Top Gear as one of the best coastal roads in the world. We whip around sharp turns up the mountain, overlooking the ocean on all sides. We arrive at the top and find buses of tourits. We find a road that goes to an even higher vantage point. My usual downfall kicks in and I get overzealous about how well my bike has been working. We begin going up the steep incline and my bike is chugging along before coming to a complete stop and refusing to start again. We leave my bike and Ryan’s takes us both up the hill.

The view is nice but it is just higher, not worth killing my bike. I make it back to the bike and ride it straight down the hill with no engine. I sit there and try to kickstart it before another traveller comes over and says he is a mechanic. He walks up and just starts the bike. I tell him he’s not the first person to do this and he runs me through a checklist of things that usually fix a bike not starting and then we take off down the hill to Da Nang.

ExPat Heaven

We get into Da Nang and hit Rom Casa, a two building shipping container hostel, complete with shipping container pool. As we explore around Da Nang, we find it is a city size similar to Cleveland. Ex Pats find it as a good mix of culture and metropolis, so there are quite a few. We grab out ball and hit the beach. We pepper in the extreme wind and finally get some touches in for the first time in weeks. The sand here is nice and volleyball is more fun than tourism.

I could watch precision pizza making all day

For dinner, we hit up a place called Pizza 4p’s, which looks very upscale. A japanese restaurant that makes pizzas with such precision that we sit at the bar and watch them make pizzas for almost two hours. Although it looks extremely fancy, three pizzas and a pot of tea cost us about twenty American dollars. A short ride from the pizza place we hit the dragon bridge, a beautiful center of the city. The bridge supports make a giant dragon that changes color every few minutes and on weekends and holidays, it shoots fire and water. We find a volleyball group and agree to play at 7am.

We go and play some volleyball, which isn’t the best we have played on the trip but it is better than nothing. After playing, we find a row of burger places and hit the highest rated one. Easily one of the best burgers I have had on the trip, but I am still hungry, so we hit the cheapest of the burger places and I grab another good one. Da Nang caters nicely to the western taste buds.

Ryan heads to a vegetarian restaurant while I make some friends at the hostel bar. One of the guys I meet is another American, and after a bit of conversation I found out that he had been traveling with one of the guys we had been hanging out with on Koh Phangan and had been in contact with to set things up for when we return at the end of the month. The world is oddly small.

I invite him to come with me to try some Mi Quang noodles, a local specialty. We eat and discuss similar career interests before the other people we met invite us to a live music bar. A half Colombian half Israeli duo plays covers on a guitar and saxophone while we hang out with the local ExPats. Getting away from the tourism is pretty relaxing.

The following day we will head to Hoi An, back into the tourism, and then further South.

Asia, Thailand, Traveling, Vietnam

A Long Way to the Bottom: February 21st – February 27th

February 27, 2019 SamuelLMoney Leave a comment

The View From The Top

Due to some miscommunication (and definitely not Ryan leaving his computer on US time), we set our return to Bangkok a day earlier than we needed it. We had the perfect set up in Koh Phangan, and neither of us were fans of Bangkok, so we ate the cost of the non refundable ferry/bus/train tickets and booked for the next day. With our extra day, we grabbed scooters and headed to Malibu Beach. This is the location of the other group of volleyball players on the island. Far from the tourism of Haad Rin beach, a low key area held a beautiful landscape and a much quieter beach area. We checked out the two courts, one free near the water and one for reservations surrounded by trees near a restaurant. The sand was nice, but we didn’t have time to play. Our new friend Florian was about to play at a ping pong tournament nearby.

We took off for the ping pong tournament, had to make an emergency stop for gas and a necessary 7/11 run, so we ended up arriving right as his game finished. The ping pong tournament took place at a little boutique homestay called Carpe Diem. As we walked up the finely manicured gravel path, we saw a small pool and bar and private rooms. As we turned the corner, we saw the ping pong table and a group of people, some familiar faces from volleyball. We wanted to just watch some points, but the level of play was so high that we ended up staying to watch through finals. Afterwards, Maria offered to show us a more private beach on the island.

The private beach provides a solid sunset view

A short ride and we walked down a long set of stairs to a private section of beach with open water, just in time for sunset. The view was insane and Maria and her family offered to teach us to play Kubb, a Swedish lawn game where you throw wooden rods to knock over other wooden pieces. We played two games (I won both, Ryan did not.) and enjoyed the sunset. Hunger kicked in, time to have Indian for the first time since it poisoned me. Last night of beach, so we grabbed some drinks on the beach and laid around under the moonlight until it was time to get up. Florian wanted us to come play doubles, so we had to get moving early.

In the morning, we took off to Malibu Beach and played some doubles while Maria grabbed some more cool shots. Then we took off and returned our scooters, checked out of our hotel and haggled a songthaew to take us to the ferry port. Two hours on a ferry boat and then we got into a mini bus to the train station. Like a fool, I made a comment about this being the first public transportation that went well and arrived on time. We had a few hours to burn before our train would come.
We were in an area entirely devoid of tourists. Local markets were strewn about. Somehow, Ryan found the nicest coffee shop I have ever seen and we posted up to use their electricity. While we charged, we took turns roaming the shops. We got entire packets of homemade snacks for ten baht, which is about thirty American cents. Ryan had been looking for a power bank, so he picked up a pink one with a dog on it for super cheap and I tried out a bunch of different food. An hour until our train, time to head to the station.

Around this point, I messaged Dani to tell her how great my week in Koh Phangan had been, and that I was genuinely worried that things were going to well and something had to go wrong. We arrived early to the train station, asked a worker where our train would come and began to wait. Our train arrived slightly behind schedule and we got to the door. People began unloading things so we continued to wait. A woman stood in the doorway. The train made some noise, so we decided it was time to get on. The woman shook her hand no. We showed her the ticket and she shook her hand no again. The train left. We asked a guard, he called over the walkie, the train slowed down and then continued moving. He took us to the ticket counter.

I explained the situation as best I could with the language barrier, but it wasn’t going well. They wanted us to buy another ticket and we just wanted them to let us on the next train due to the worker telling us no. All the while the next train is arriving. We are basically arguing at this point so I just asked to buy a ticket and will handle the money after. She tells us there is no second class (padded seat with fan/air con) for the next three trains. We tell her just to give us a ticket. We get on the bus with the locals. It is just benches in an open train car. Each seat is wide enough for my butt to dangle over the edge with my head against the wall. The sound of the train is so loud that I can’t hear music with noise cancelling headphones on. I chuckled as I message Dani that I was correct.

The Snowball Effect

We power through the train ride. I don’t necessarily know that I slept at all on the twelve hour night train ride, but I do know that I was unconscious. We arrive in Bangkok and feel a tinge of happiness. They opened a Taco Bell in Bangkok since last time we were there. We head there and get some food. It’s like a knockoff of American Taco Bell, but good enough. Thai people love spicy, so of course their Taco Bell comes standard with Fire sauce on everything. A coworker from Rockwell tells me she is staying a few minutes from where we are staying.

I walk over to see Robyn and check out where she is staying. She is in Southeast Asia doing some work for Rockwell. The points she’s accrued from all the travel have her in a two bedroom suite, a little different from where I am staying. We trade some Asia stories and I think about what I walked away from. She heads to the airport and I go get Ryan.

We have seen Bangkok and the sand courts don’t have any play going on, so I suggest we find a gaming cafe. We search google results for a few hours, all to no avail, but we find one as we are about to give up. Fifty baht for three hours, less than two American dollars. We spend a few hours playing Apex Legends and then head home. I mention that the sleep on the train probably left my body all wonky, so I am worried about waking up for our 7:40am flight.

I wake up at 8:10am, I head over to Ryan’s bed, he’s asleep too. I tell him I slept through four alarms, he tells me he never even set one. We book another flight and I head out to get breakfast, call my dad and finish the blog post I was days late on. I come back in a better mood and we hit Taco Bell a second time. Then we head back to the gaming cafe. We come back early and get some sleep. A short flight and we arrive in Hanoi, Vietnam.

Good Morning, Vietnam

We make it through immigration and take a local bus to Old Quarter and throw our stuff at our hostel. Now we begin our search for our rides. We are looking for Honda Wins to take all the way down Vietnam, over two thousand kilometers. Like always, I do a ton of research. There are no real Honda Wins in Vietnam. You can find some reliable Vietnamese and Indonesian copies and some unreliable Chinese copies. We scour Facebook, Craigslist and local shops looking for the best deals. We find some bikes for under three hundred dollars and decide to grab them the next day. We check out the city a bit, but after becoming so comfortable on the islands, the city immediately makes me irritable.

We head over to the shop that offered us the best deal. The woman working tells us the bikes are at her other shop and they will send someone to get us. Silly us, we thought they would send a scooter and we would each ride on the back of a scooter. This is Vietnam. We both got on the back of one scooter. No mirrors and the driver never turned his head. We whipped onto the highway and blew red lights. Arrived in one piece for the owner of the shop to tell us that the deal the woman offered us was insane. Tried to talk us into the real prices, but we were good. We did some more research. Most of the people posting blog posts about buying the Vietnamese bikes for low prices either got extremely lucky buying from other travelers or they were sold Chinese copies with Detech (Vietnamese company) engine covers. We meet up with the English guys who offer to sell us some scooters.

We learned to ride motorcycles in Laos, but we have gotten plenty of scooter experience on this trip. Motorcycles are way cooler. They look cooler, they feel cooler and changing gears feels cool. Realistically though, the scooters tend to be more reliable and we have much more experience on them and don’t have to worry about gears in the insanity that is Vietnam. The bikes the guys offer us have a few more issues than we care to deal with so I message dealers about the scooters.

The mechanic we were going to take whatever bike we bought has some scooters for sale so we check them out. We look at the Nuovo 3, but for a little cheaper we grab the Nuovo 1 and an Attila. We grab them for a price that we should easily recuperate upon hitting Ho Chi Minh City. We ask that they be washed and have a few things added and looked at and we head back to the hostel. We head to check out the Old Quarter area and grab some dinner. Mostly travelers partying, but there are some cool hidden things. We head to the Skyline bar to check out the view from the rooftop bars and then head home.

On the Road Again

We wake up and check out of our hostel. Quick taxi to the shop and we grab our scooters. Ryan cracks a joke about how no matter what bikes we got, his would be fine and mine would have problems. That has been the theme since I met him. We leave the shop and go grab some gas. My blinkers are already not working. Oh well. We find some helmet shops and I go back and forth on the three quarter helmets I have been wearing or a full motorcycle helmet. After feeling around, we both decide on modular helmets, a full sized helmet with raising face shield, where the bigger place part covering the chin also raises. Heavier than the other options, but a good mix of safety and breathability.We head on our way to Ninh Binh.

Taking the highway, Hanoi to Ninh Binh is about two hours. The highway is where all the cars and trucks go wild. We stick to the other roads and it’s about four hours. Around the two hour mark, we stop to grab food. The area we are in doesn’t seem to use much English, which is where I usually just use a smile. Ryan doesn’t have that luck, he uses Google to tell them he is a vegetarian. They laugh at us a bit and bring him a large plate of vegetables and fried tofu, me a plates of fried eggs and what I assume is pork, and some rice to share. Ryan grabs a Red Bull and we devour the plate full of food. The whole thing ends up costing us about three American dollars. We head off the next two hours.

Vietnam looks like someone told designer to use all of the available landscapes to make the most beautiful thing they can imagine. It’s all rivers and mountains and rice paddies. I lead the way and every few seconds think “I wonder if Ryan wants a picture of that”. Even if we stopped every five minutes, we would still miss pictures. We stop once or twice and make our way to Trang An. Hidden among small mountainous hills similar to those found in Halong Bay, we find our homestay. Ryan informs me that my rear lights have not worked the entire time.

I head to a nearby mechanic and they fix my blinker and lights in under ten minutes for less than two dollars. We take off to find an ATM. About a kilometer later, I feel something give, my bike slows and my throttle has no resistance. Ryan is leading and continues to the ATM, I sit in the dark and text him what happened. I figure it is the throttle cable and start walking the bike back to the shop. This is standard, I just left a shop and this happens. I walk the bike back the kilometer in the dark. Ryan shows up and begins to crack jokes and ride behind me. As we arrive, the shop is closed. Ryan rides around to find another shop and the shop workers begin to leave the shop. They recognize me and fix my now busted throttle cable. In starting up the engine, it floods and kickstarting is required. He tells me the price and I just hand him a handful of money for working on it after they closed. My total for the two repairs is still under four American dollars.

We head home and decide to stop for dinner. Ryan sees a restaurant with a sign with the word that means vegetarian, so we stop. He orders what he thinks is vegetarian rice and I get goat with rice on recommendation for our waiter. The food arrives and Ryan gets what looks like rice crispies and some soup. I get a sizzling plate full of goat and garlic, and a big bowl of white rice. Ryan dips the rice into the soup and eats a bit before asking me to try the mushrooms. I have eaten a good amount of mushrooms in my life, and these mushrooms are definitely beef. The karma for teasing me about my bike has come quickly. I eat my food with a smile and Ryan tries to figure out what else to eat. We get up to pay and realize this restaurant is about six times more expensive than all of the other ones we have seen. A reminder not to follow Ryan places.

We head back to the hostel where Ryan gets more food and I get some Oreos. We make some plans for what to do in the Ninh Binh area the following day and what route to take to the next city the day after that and I head to bed to write this post. So meta.

Asia, Thailand, Traveling

Life’s a Beach: January 31st – February 6th

February 7, 2019 SamuelLMoney Leave a comment

Hotter Than Hell

The irony of the dubbed “Real Sin City” being as hot as Hell (near the top, if you’ve read Dante’s Inferno) is almost poetic. When we arrived, Google warned us of the number of school closings due to extremely high pollution levels. They are trying many things to counteract it, but there are just so many cars, scooters and people in a small area, it begins to feel futile. We have spent days in the direct sunlight, but you can feel how the pollution traps the heat in the city. It’s like walking through jello, the humidity is overwhelming. Day two of Bangkok and we decide to do some sight seeing. We begin to walk around the city, checking out a highly rated bookstore that is closed when we arrive. We walk to the Grand Palace to check out the hype. A beautiful and massive complex with ornate buildings, but like most valued places in Thailand, knees and shoulders must be covered. We assumed this would be the case, but it’s so hot and we’ve seen so many similar places, we decide the outside views will suffice.

Two staples of my childhood (ignore the no pictures sign)

A further walk to Chinatown finds us in a big shopping mall filled with Chinese/Japanese culture items. Floor after floor of video game and character statue shop. Bad news for Ryan. He gets to spend about an hour listening to me exclaim all of my favorite characters cast in intricate details at shockingly low prices. A quick shoot around and we find many places that will likely contain meat or fish sauces and not know that it matters and kill Ryan, so he grabs some noodles from a place describing themselves as vegetarian and we begin to head back towards our hostel. I find a little touristy looking restaurant by the river and grab some Massaman and rice as Ryan yells at me for letting him buy the street side noodles. A quick lunch and we head next door to a kitty cafe so Ryan can get his cat fix and we can hide in the air conditioning.

We head back to the hostel and grab our stuff. We grab a night at a party hostel away from Khao San Road and closer to Nana Plaza. Party hostels in Europe/South America tend to be more of “Get to know all of these people over drinks and then go out together in the city and let anyone not going out enjoy the peace”, whereas our experience in Asia has been more of “Everyone here will awkwardly push drinks at you and yell all night and maybe you can overpay us to take you to some bars”. We arrive at the highly rated hostel and the beds are super comfy and the dorms are separate from the bar area. It’s been a long hot day so I start reading and Ryan takes a nap. The lights flip on and two girls are in our room offering to pour shots in our mouth and telling us that if you go to the bar without pants on, they will give you free vodka. Upon entering the hostel to check in, it was all guys at the hostel check in. Nothing sounds less inviting to me as an adult male than a group of men getting free alcohol for not wearing pants, so I can’t even imagine how offputting it would be if I was a female, especially solo traveling. We pass and they offer us some insane prices on going on a bar crawl later, double pass.

We decide to check out the other go to places for debauchery in Bangkok, Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza. Luckily, Ryan and I have similar stances about these types of thing. I don’t want to take part, you can’t have my money but I do want to at least see what it’s all about, so we go people watching. Soi Cowboy is a brightly lit street lined with bars. Outside of the bars are scantily clad Thai women dancing and grabbing at your arms to bring you into their bar. Most tourist places in any city in Thailand are filled with white males in bars with young, pretty Thai girls, nothing new. We shoot over to Nana Plaza, a three story structure filled with what amounts to strip clubs. We walk through and evade the grabs into each bar. We pick one and hop inside for a drink. Girls dancing, interludes for solo/duo acts and more Thai girls sitting with white males, convincing them to by the exorbitantly priced drinks. That’s enough for us, there has to be something worthwhile around here.

We see a sign for a rooftop bar and do some quick research. There’s a super high rated rooftop bar called Octave that is just a short train ride away. We’ve been wanting to take the rail line, so this is perfect. We shoot over and arrive to a Marriot hotel. One of my favorite travel tips is that acting like you belong somewhere will usually get you into most places. “Excuse me, I forgot my keycard in *insert place you want to be*, can you swipe me in?” will get you a lot of places. We head up to the forty fifth floor of the building, where we are greeted with “Dinner or bar?” to which we reply “Bar”. The women motions us to another elevator. Up to the forty eighth floor. The drink prices are insane, but so is the view. In all of Bangkok, we can see a small handful of buildings that are at the same height as us. A quick trot up some stairs and we are at the forty ninth floor, the top, filled with modern lighting and tables filled with nicely dressed patrons. We grab a table and snap some pics of the view. A waiter brings us a menu, no need. We hop to the other side for some more pics and to enjoy the breeze and then head back. One more day until the beach.

Day three, when a trip extends past a week or two, it requires you to live your life as normal. Things like laundry and haircuts have to be factored in. Days to relax and just lay around become treasured. Before I left, I learned to how to give myself the exact style of fade haircut I like, only problem being that there is nowhere in a hostel to cut hair without blasting hair all over everything. That being said, Ryan and I head to a Thai barbershop, show the barbers pictures of us with the haircuts we want and they go off. It ends up costing about four dollars and comes out pretty near perfect for there being no exchange of words. We find a big mall for Ryan to grab some clothing items and for me to check out the movie “Glass”.

Travel In Your Dreams

After the mall, we go on a search for some food, we end up taking a route that takes us the long way back to our hostel. Almost an hour of walking and we fail to find a Thai restaurant….in Thailand. Bangkok isn’t my favorite. We get back to the hostel and I check the route to the bus station. It is 5pm at this point and our bus is at 6:30pm. Google informs me that our thirty minute taxi to the bus station is now just under an hour. Oh no, no time for food. We walk down the street and deal with a few taxis offering us flat rates to the bus station. Word to the wise, don’t ever take those deals. We find one offering to use the meter. We are currently at 5:12pm and the ride has jumped to over an hour. We sit in the backseat as I watch Google slowly increase the trip time and watch our ETA slowly slip past 6:30pm. Online, this is shown as the last overnight bus down to Phuket.

We arrive at 6:40pm and throw the money to the taxi driver and begin frantically searching for the ticket booth for Phuket to exchange our confirmation for an actual ticket. As we walk up, a woman looks at us from a distance and yells “Phuket?”. We head to her and she keeps saying 6:50pm. We tell her “6:30pm” and show her the ticket. She laughs, tells us we are good looking and has the girl behind the counter print us two tickets for the 6:50pm bus. It is 6:50pm then, she tells us to run. We run to the bus. As we walk up to the upper deck of the bus and grab our seats in the front, we remember that we didn’t eat before our haircuts to save room for a good Thai meal after, which didn’t end up happening. We sit on the bus for twenty minutes waiting to leave when we could have grabbed snacks. No luck. The bus takes off. The overnight bus lets us recline and we are right against the front. Pretty terrifying to watch the bus swing around corners and too close to other vehicles in the night from that view.

At midnight, we hit a rest stop. We hop off to use the restroom, grab drinks and an unhealthy amount of food. As we get back on, I find out I can fully recline my seat without being in the person behind me’s way. Straight to sleep. I wake up around 4am, watch an episode of the Punisher and fall back asleep. I wake up around 6am and realize we are supposed to arrive at 7am so I stay up. Nothing in Southeast Asia runs on time and we have been picking up and dropping off locals, so we arrive at the bus station around 10am. The bus terminal is nowhere near the downtown area, so we hop in the back of a songthaew (converted truck) and get to the downtown area for 15 baht (about $0.50). We hop out near some scooter rental places.

All of the scooter places in touristy areas charge crazy prices compared to the rest of Thailand, but we aren’t rookies anymore. We are staying a thirty minute ride away from the rental places but plan to come to that part of town before leaving the area. We rent two scooters for six days, so we have leverage as far as bargaining. We grab the scooters at 75% of their usual rate. Here comes the tricky part, we have our entire bags with us and the scooters have no storage. Time for those bike lessons to be worth it. We throw our bags on our back and whip through the traffic, weaving around cars stuck in traffic like some real locals. We arrive at our beachfront hostel and drop our stuff. We have noticed that the hotter an area, the less likely the common areas of the hostel have fans/air conditioning, and this is no exception. We head to the beach.

Remember: No Russian

The water is a blue that looks almost fake. The sun causes the sand to feel like hot coals and it stays about eighty five degrees. We hop in the water and it’s the perfect temperature. Just a little cool. The sand underneath is soft with seemingly no debris. I don’t think I have mentioned it in any of these posts, but after realizing that everyone else traveling is bilingual, we decided to pick up some Russian to have a second language to discuss things in when we need some privacy in public. As we walk down the beach, all we hear is Russian. It seems everyone we encounter is Russian. The restaurants and stores all have signs in Russian. We are on the southern coast of Thailand. We do a little research and find out Phuket has been less than affectionately nicknamed “Little Russia” due to the high number of Russian tourists.

As we got off the bus, my stomach felt like I might possibly die. Drink some water, eat some food, no luck. Food poisoning again? Perfect. We see on Facebook that there is volleyball in the afternoon on the beach we are staying at. I’ve been through worse for things I like less, I self induce some sickness relief and go swim in the ocean, body feels much better. Off to the beach we go. Some doubles but mostly games of threes, which is uncommon anywhere we have ever been. We sit around and wait for our chance to get on a court. With all the Russian we have learned, we haven’t gotten to “Can we play?” or “Does anyone have next?”, homework for later. We wait around like shy children. We finally get our chance to get on the court and realize that no one is going to warm up. We have next to no experience with the FIVB ball, haven’t played in the wind since the summer, haven’t played at all in almost a month and it is humid as hell. The first game does not go well. The court reverts back to the same six people playing. There are a slew of courts down the beach, and no one is letting new people in. A few failed attempts to buy our own ball with no luck. We go swim and head home.

Day two, we check out a hotel we booked for later in the week that we heard doesn’t match its online pictures. Definitely not, very low quality, time to get a refund. We find a new one that is advertised for gamers, but has high quality amenities at an insanely cheap price. It matches its online persona, life is cool. We zip around on scooters and check out another beach and an awesome viewpoint of the beach we are staying. Back to the beach to track down a ball. We ask around and are told someone there sells balls. Just our luck, he has none with him. A little better luck, he offers to let us come play fours. Usually my selling point is endurance, I don’t get tired easily. Add in a lack of eating, subtle dehydration and an insane amount of humidity, and that all goes out the window. We play for five or six hours and Ryan and I are both unable to stand when they finally offer to let us play doubles. Back to the hostel for some food and rest.

It is hot and I am out of shape, but it is pretty

The player we met to sell us a ball finds me on Facebook. He sees we have a mutual friend in the tournament director for another island and we chat about the tournament. He is playing the same one as us in a few weeks and offers to let us join in on training. We meet up with him and buy a ball. Finally, we can get some unobstructed practice time with this new ball. We practice a bit and head home to take care of some stuff.

Most of the other cities we have been in have been super cheap. Like full portion meals for one dollar cheap. Phuket is insanely touristy, we are paying close to American prices for meals. I decide to track down a supermarket. A quick zip around the city and I find a miniature Sam’s Club. Similar prices to the local marts, but a much larger selection. As a reference, the “English breakfast set” at our hostel is about one hundred baht, or just over three dollars. This set is two pieces of toast, what looks like one egg, two pieces of bacon and tea or coffee. At the hostel, we have a kettle, a toaster and a microwave. I pick up a pack of noodle cups, a bag of Chinese carrots (as thick as my wrist), a loaf of wheat bread, two sticks of salted butter and eight hundred milliliters of chocolate milk for one hundred and seventy baht, or just under six dollars. I remember that I have to carry all of this back on my scooter, time for another learning experience.

This is not what it usually looks like when I sit down to write this stuff

Ryan and I make some dumb decisions but our favorite one is to wait until around noon to go outside and walk around. The sun is out in full force and we always regret. Today, we decide not to do this for likely the first time in over a month and hide at a cafe with a beach view to relax. I worked on this post (super meta) and Ryan worked on some stuff. Ryan decided to continue on his computer and I headed to volleyball.

Like Riding A Bike

It’s been a over a month since we have played with any consistency, the air here is super thick and the ball is completely different, so playing started as a bit disheartening. Plays I would normally make with relative ease had become impossible. My normal Spartan level of endurance had dwindled to a sickening frailty when you add the weeks of sitting on buses, humidity and direct sun. So training has been in order. After a few days, things start feeling like normal. Movements because muscle reactions instead of thought about choices. At this point, we’re playing four or five hours a day. We make some locals friends and feel a little more confident about the tournament coming up.,

Some of the friends we made from volleyball invite us out for barbeque. I am never one to turn down an invitation to get food. Mostly because I love food, but also because it’s always such a joyous occasion to be socializing in. We arrive at the location they sent us and they are sitting in front of table top girls with basins of buttery looking liquid around them. We immediately notice that it is all meat and seafood. Sorry, Ryan’s stomach, but they promise there are vegetables and eggs. The Asian people as a whole seem to have a very fast and loose approach to how they view vegetarianism, rarely seeming to understand that vegetarian dishes shouldn’t be cooked in animal fat or eating the broth of a soup containing meat is basically still eating meat. Ryan has done his best to be diligent about avoiding any meat or seafood, including regularly asking for no fish sauce or oyster sauce to be made with any of his meals (a very common base for Thai sauces). As the grill is loaded up with shrimp for me (even though I have already grabbed myself a plate of meat as I do not really take to seafood), Ryan adds vegetables, noodles and eggs to the surrounding basin. Our friends assure us this is vegetarian but Ryan and I whisper back and forth about his impending demise. He eats the delicious concoction as a eat plates of meat and we continue to socialize.

Ryan throws some more food into the water as I begin to cook red meat. The others inform me that I need to add something to the grill to keep the meat from sticking. They begin swabbing it with a chunk of animal fat, double sorry, Ryan’s stomach. The fat begins to dribble off of the red meat I am cooking, cascading down into the liquid, triple sorry. Ryan and I discuss how it is worth it and how it is likely that he has slowly been microdosing meat and seafood this entire trip. A theory to be tested in the morning.

We finish up and they bring us a handful food of these tiny colorful cones. Cold to the touch, popsicles, we assume. Rip them open and the consistency feels like that of tapioca bobas. Each flavor is better than the last. One of our friends walks over with a bowl full of ice cream. Sorry abs, we have found all you can eat ice cream. Two bowls of ice cream and about fifteen jelly popsicles later and we all pay and get ready to leave. After a short conversation, we realize we will likely not get a chance to play with our new friends. We exchange social medias and bid them farewell.

This Is Sam Luck

One of the first days in Phuket, a couple was leaving our hostel to go to the nearby party area. They were quoted five hundred baht for a taxi which would take them fiften minutes. This is equivalent to about seventeen American dollars. Their other option was to take a local bus for less than one hundred baht, but would take two hours. Them being two travelers with big bags, I couldn’t really help, but wasn’t pleased with the extortion of travelers.

A roommate of ours was heading to the area and I could hear him being quoted a similar price. An exorbitant amount for a long term traveler. He was just one guy with two smaller bags. Time to rack up some good karma points. We offered him to hop on the back of Ryan’s scooter with his smaller bag on his back while we strapped his bigger bag to the back of mine. My first experience with riding with a strapped down bag just to be ready for future travel. A quick fifteen minute ride to save him a handful of money and we checked out an area of the island that we didn’t see. He paid for our lunch and we parted ways to go play volleyball.

On the last day of the week, we moved to a nicer hotel. One geared towards gamers, which is funny given Ryan’s and my own penchant for wasting hours gaming, but with their amenities and competitive price, it was a no brainer. Three pools, big rooms, a rooftop terrace and a gaming room, luxuries we haven’t seen in a while. The top floor contained murals of Overwatch characters, a PS4 with new games, a Nintendo switch and rows of gaming rigs with peripherals, some even including streaming equipment. I guess gaming will be required at some point.

We went to pick up a friend from the harbour and Ryan met to bring the bag back and she got on the back of my scooter. As we started the thirty minute journey, a local stopped me, pointed at the exhaust on my scooter and made a concerned face. The exhaust and handle bars of my scooter shine with a case hardened paint job, so I thought he was referring to that. He began to point more furiously at the back and as the look of confusion on my face increased, he grabbed the back tire. I asked Ryan to take a look and he assured me everything was fine.

As we rode, I knew things like sharp turning would be difficult, as that requires a precise shifting of the body weight, and now there is another body at a different location on the bike. As we took the first sharp turn, I feel the back tire attempt to go straight. When turning, if you apply throttle, the back tire wants to go forward and the front tire is what makes it turn, so I assume the added weight to the back tire causes this scenario. From then on a begin to take the turns a little more carefully. Then I begin to feel the back tire sliding on small faults in the road. It’s okay, only fifteen more minutes to ride. Then the bike starts kicking like a wooden rollercoaster that is far past its maintenance point. I pull into a nearby parking lot and see that the tire is entirely flat. Ryan’s diagnosis has failed me.

Ryan comes to get our friend while I attempt to find a motorbike shop as several locals give me entirely separate directions. Without the added wait, the bike is basically hopping with each rotation of the wheel. I go a few minutes down the road to where Google says there is a local shop, closed down, damn. I stop in a nearby hotel and they inform me it is a ten minute ride to the closest place. Ten minutes on a functioning bike, I bet. I start riding and realize my little, hoppy, no tire scooter has to take me down this main road. Cars are stopping in front of me, scooters are whizzing around, and the normal dexterity allotted by riding a scooter is completely removed without the back tire. About ten minutes of white knuckling my handlebars and I get stuck behind a stopped car as everyone refuses to let me go around. I look at the woman next to me and point to my tire and ask where to get it fixed, she yells twenty baht at me. Damn you, language barrier. A nearby man comes over and points in the direction I was headed and says five minutes. Five more minutes? So I am half way. I go around the car and another block down I see the shop. I have never been happier for someone to give me false information.

I roll into the shop and point at my tire. The young Thai worker immediately throws the bike on the back stand and pops the tire off. I sit there sweating as he works, waiting to hear what my grand total will be for this little adventure. A quick fifteen minutes and my tire is fixed with nail removed. I pull out my wallet and he says one fifty, which is about five dollars. Awesome. I hand him his money and head back on my now functioning scooter.

A day or so of relaxation and I will be heading to Koh Samui on a bus a day or so before Ryan. I am a bit more neurotic about training stuff so want to get there early. Then the real training starts and we will be gearing up for our back to back tournaments.

Asia, Laos, Transportation, Traveling

The Banana Pancake Trail: January 17th – January 23rd

January 24, 2019 SamuelLMoney Leave a comment

After a few days of seeing all the same people and hearing about the same travel route frequently, we found out it was affectionately named “The Banana Pancake Trail”. Still haven’t found out why, but I have had a lot of really good banana pancakes for free in the hostels. The past week started our actual traveling and the more two to three day stops in cities and then departing that is more common with backpacking.

Chiang Mai’s More Authentic Sibling

We departed Chiang Mai for Chiang Rai. We only had one day there, so we had to make it count. We woke up to the best breakfast I’ve had so far…for free in our hostel. Banana chocolate chip pancakes, score. We utilized our new scooter skills to make it work. There was a much lower population of tourists around Chiang Rai, so scooter rentals were not as frequent as we had seen in Chiang Mai.

First stop was heading to Singha Park. Singha is a Thai beer with a cool lion logo. We head off for their park and saw their giant golden lion. We grabbed some matcha ice cream and decided to ride through the park. It was acres of perfectly manicured grounds. This also included a cool viewpoint of the grounds, ziplining and rock climbing.

A close up of some of the art surrounding the White Temple

Next up was the famous White Temple. This temple is the work of famous contemporary artist Chalermchai Kositpipat. The temple is surrounded by skulls hanging from trees and the initial bridge is surrounded by a lake of hands reaching up from the ground. The entire grounds was covered in some really well done dark art. Hidden throughout were some popculture references, like The Ninja Turtles and their master, Splinter. Arriving at the entrance, there is a bench with Iron Man armor made to look like a buddhist statue. A little further into the grounds is an entire building dedicated to my favorite god, Ganesha. Paintings, tapestries and jewelry adorned the inside of the picture-restricted building. Each year Chalermchai paints a new interpretation of Ganesha raising the Dharma. The room is filled with many coins and other artifacts decorated with the image of Ganesha. The golden building was topped with a giant Ganesha statue. On the way out, the gift shop was filled with more Kositpipat art filled with pop culture references, including George Bush and Saddam riding a rocket and Spiderman slinging near the World Trade Centers.

One of the buildings from the Black House

A quick shoot over to the Black House just before it closed to see some crazy architecture and art made out of dead animal parts. The architecture was Gothic style and was mostly made of bones. A lot of it had restricted access, but it could have been because we got there late.

After the long day of being a tourist, we shot over to the local hot spring and enjoyed some relaxation before we had to return the scooters. The ride back was through rural Chiang Mai which was a fun way to test out some finer scooter techniques. Unfortunately, we ended up driving back in the dark which proved more difficult than we expected with how aggressive Thai drivers are. Between us and the scooter rental place was a very crowded roundabout, which required more faith than driving skill but we made it.

Charlemchai Kositpipat also created a large golden clock tower in the center of Chiang Rai that has a pretty awesome light show at the top of the hour in the evening time. We returned the scooters at 7, so we hopped across the street to catch the show. Music started and the clock tower began changing colors and the Ganesha statue in the center began to raise as a lotus rose from beneath it. The lotus began rotating and then opened before the process reversed. Pretty cool for local art.

We have been jonesing for our own ginger tea since all of the hostels have free hot water but only offer Lipton tea bags and there happened to be a tea shop across from the clock tower so we decided to stop in. As we walked in, I noticed one of my best friend’s college roommate sitting at the table journeying. I haven’t seen her in 5 years and randomly run into her in a tea shop on the other side of the planet. Life is cool. We grabbed dinner and checked out the night market before heading home for some sleep before our big journey.

Slow Ride, Take It Easy

Somehow, I was never able to wake up on time for my 10am job, but I’ve been a very good alarm clock for Ryan throughout this trip. Up at 5am to start our journey, the owner of Grace Hostel was nice enough to also get up that early and make us breakfast and drive five of us to the bus station. A decently long bus ride to the Thai-Laos border and we checked out of our Thai visa and exchanged our Baht for US dollars. I had brought my own, so exchanged it for Laos Kip, but Ryan exchanged his for USD. A quick shuttle across a river and we had to fill out some forms for our Laos visas. They take our passports and I pay for mine. Ryan hands the visa officer the money he had just received from the Thai border exchange and they tell him no. Someone had written “Hawaii, USA” on one of the dollars and they refused to take it. I offered them some of mine, but there was an ink dot, no dice. We tried to exchange it at the exchange office there and same issue. I got out some emergency cash and we got his passport. Pay a big some for our ticket and we’re tossed into the back of a truck with a group and a dog and on our way to the slow boat.

I did an okay amount of research for this, but was mostly going with the flow. They take you to a store beforehand and we got some snacks. At some point, everyone headed to the boat without us so we were one of the last to go. The long tail boat contained three aisles of two car seats each all the way back, with some stair tiered areas. No seats available, we head to the back. A dark engine room filled with supplies and locals and the other tourists unfortunate enough not to get a seat. As soon as the boat started, the room got loud and hot and we were cramped. We paid for a boat trip to be stuck with no view and no breeze. I was raised better. We grab our stuff and head to the front. We post up on the stairs and set my tablet on a stack of backpacks and begin watching movies. Beautiful breeze, astonishing views and we can stand up and move while traveling? Easy choice. Six or so hours later and we hit the halfway point of Pak Beng, Laos.

Pak Beng is an interesting, little town. By all accounts, it seems its only purpose is to stand as the halfway point for the slow boat trip between Chiang Kong, Thailand and Luang Prubang, Laos. A number of guest houses, restaurants and convenient stores line the single street up the hill. Our guest house suggested us a local bar that would serve Laos and Indian food. I am always down for Indian food, but don’t like heading to places suggested by tours/guest houses as they tend to be tourist traps. We checked out all of the restaurants on the street and noticed it was all the same stuff at the same prices. Oh yeah, Laos is a communist country. We head to the bar to eat with people we had met on the boat. The Indian food at the bar was delivered by the Indian restaurant we had seen on the street. We order enough food that they assume it’s for the whole table. Nope, just two Americans.

Day two of the boat trip and we arrive early enough to snag some good seats. This boat had a cargo hold for the bags and two aisles of seats, one three or four seats and one two seat aisle. Bags under and we have another seven hours to check out the views and enjoy the breeze. Our boat arrives about ten kilometers outside of Luang Prabang and a young kid climbs into the cargo hold and starts pulling the bags out alone. All of the tourists are just watching him lift their heavy bags out of the boat. I step up and start helping him move the bags. Passengers are pushing through to stand in the way as they wait to see their bag. This is why people don’t like tourists. They get the last bag up and we hop in a tuk tuk to the city. A short ride with some drunk Englishmen yelling about Baker Mayfield and we arrive at our hostel.

France in Laos

Your favorite adventurers getting some relaxation time

The French colonized areas of Laos, so baguettes and crepes are in abundance in Luang Prabang. The city is pretty light on things to do but we were just passing through. Our hostel was a good place to relax. The popular bar was about a hundred meters from our hostel and the internet said there were sand courts there, but no one updates these things and it’s been gone for over a year. There were some cushion beds on a cliff overlooking the river, so we enjoyed that at least. The following day, we took a tour to the bear sanctuary and Kuang Si waterfalls. The entrance is lined with areas for the bears to hang out. After the bears, you get a view of some pretty majestic blue water. As we hiked up the trail that ran along the waterfalls, we got glimpses of the different tiers of waterfalls. A harder path takes you to the top of the fifty meters of waterfalls. Danger signs can be seen behind the spiked fences from when tourists were able to walk all the way to the edge, but now you can’t even get a view of the falls from the top. We hop in a pool at the top and then make our way down. A little more swimming and we head back.

The Canadians we met at the waterfalls wanted to check out a waterpark, so we went on a long walk to check it out. Again, things don’t get updated online, so the park was closed for improvements. Oh well, we had a freezing pool at our hostel. The only thing open in Luang Prabang after midnight is a bowling alley, so we decided to check that out. An interesting place to say the very least. There’s an archery range as you walk in and an assortment of alcohol is sold alongside laughing gas balloons. Two quick games (which I won and tied for first) and we headed back to the hostel.

The next day we decided to check out the Phou Si mountain in the center of town and the temple on top. We’re a bit burned out on temples, so a quick run through and a mountain sunset view and we were off to dinner. Everyone makes their way down to Vieng Vang after Luang Prabang and it was closer to our motorcycle lessons, so we booked a bus.

Party Town Revitalized

Our mini van took off at 7:30am, so we grabbed breakfast and got in. The driver was a bit of a mad man but that was nothing new for this trip. I managed to fall asleep for a minute before waking up to us heading towards a sharp turn on a gravel road on the side of a mountain while we were above the clouds. Needless to say, I didn’t get any more sleep on the trip. I was sitting far enough up to get a good view of the driver whizzing past trucks on sharp turns while answering his cell phone, no big deal. Three hours of horror and we arrived in Vieng Vang.

Vieng Vang used to be the place to party in Laos. Hundreds of people would drunkenly tube and cause general mayhem in the city. When death became pretty common due to the high consumption of alcohol and drugs, the local authorities shut down tubing altogether. In the past few years, it reopened with more regulation. The shutting down of tubing killed the tourism in Vieng Vang, and it has slightly recovered with higher quality tourist attractions. This seems pretty easy because the area is the most beautiful we’ve seen so far, so a bit confusing why that attribute seems to be annoyed.

We decided to check out the tubing. I have been tubing before in Texas down the San Marcos river and had a blast. It’s mostly just drinking while going down a river. That’s what I thought we signed up for. My stomach was upset from dinner the night before so I was just excitged to sit in a river. Most of this tubing was short stints in the river between long intervals of sitting at riverside bars. The tubing itself and the area were beautiful, but I didn’t come to Asia to be trapped in small areas with drunk white people. Lesson learned we made the most of it.

Patiently Waiting

That’s a week. It feels like months. Ryan and I are both getting antsy to play so will likely maneuver some things to head to the islands early. For now, we have a few more days until we head to Kasi to do our motorcycle lessons and do a short road trip.

Asia, Traveling

The Adventure Begins: January 11th-January 16th

January 16, 2019 SamuelLMoney Leave a comment

So we made it back from Pai, this time with seats that didn’t make any of us nauseous. This time a new hostel, with a pool and a volleyball net. The ball was the standard hard plastic ball you find in any recreational area. Upon arriving, the first thing we did was change and hop in the pool. Of course it had stone bezels on around the outside, the pool was narrow and the ground tiles were slick, so any movement was limited. People were sitting around the pool, so any time the ball hit the water, someone was mad at us. Oh well, I usually prioritize volleyball over stranger’s happiness. Enough of that and we set off to find some elephant tours. With three of us, we were able to haggle the price down 25% to go spend a few hours with elephants. Then we decided to get some sleep because we had to be up at 7am for elephants. Our 12 person dorm was directly over the bar, which usually isn’t an issue because hostel bars usually kick everyone out by 10 or 11pm. Apparently ours was only staffed by two twenty one year old travelers, so people were down there screaming until about 1am. Luckily, I sleep like a rock. Janey and Ryan aren’t so blessed.

Giant Puppies

Up at 7am, we hopped into a van to head to the Elephant Rescue Park. Thirty minutes later, we got to meet some puppies. Our host, Eak, gave us some more traditional Thai clothing to get muddy, a cotton shirt and the loose cotton tie off pants, a common outfit for Thai experiences. Always a good laugh as they hand Ryan and I extra large versions for our average American frames. A quick change and we throw all of our stuff in a locker besides phones and my waterproof camera. They introduced us to the four elephants, big brown creatures who you could tell saw us as play things and baskets of treats. We were given some treats and the elephants gracefully used their trunks to take them from us. Eak then showed us how to raise the treat so the elephant would open its mouth and you could put the treats directly in. I couldn’t help but feel like I was interacting with a creature from Star Wars, but accepted the otherworldly creature. Next, we were given a basket of sugarcane and a small cleaver. A few forceful taps against the table and the blunt cleaver slid straight through the cane. Ryan and I sped through our baskets and then split an extra basket sitting there, hoping to spoil our new giant friends. To feed the elephants, you had to hide the basket behind your back, take a handful of the split sugarcane and hold them out for the elephant. The elephants were so agile with their trunks that they could tell how many pieces you gave them and would hold out their trunk for more. If you staggered the pieces, they would turn the cane sideways and tap them on the ground to even out the bundle. Some fun pictures of us feeding them and then off to the mud.

Eak led us to a big mud pile and told us to take our shoes off. I stepped down into the pit of what looked like solid groud covered in mud. One step later and I’m up to my calves in mud. Thanks for the pants, Eak. Janey hops in and Eak summons two of the elephants. Us three are the only ones in the mud, everyone else in the tour group is just watching. We are standing downhill of the elephants stepping onto the slippery mud, so we’re ready to make moves if one of them loses their footing. Eak shows us how to rub the mud on the elephants and we start covering them. One of the elephants decides it needs to go to the bathroom and a flood ensues. Eak informs us that that is how Chang beer is made, and we’ve been told that before, so I’m not sure if it’s a joke. A quick detour and we’re uphill from the elephants, this time throwing the mud. The elephants start grabbing trunkfuls of mud and tossing it onto themselves. More mud and then off to the river.

It’s good to keep boundaries in a friendship

We grab some little buckets with handles and head into the river with the elephants. About ten minutes of chucking water and one of the elephants lays down so we can wash its back and head. All cleaned off, we head out of the water and are given some bananas. The elephants are eating one or two at a time like they are grains of rice. We say goodbye to our giant puppy friends and head to the showers. Back into our clothes, we sat down to eat some lunch with the puppies we met at the beginning. Back in the van and back to our hostel. Upon arriving, I realize I left my camera in the shower, my only evidence of my new alien friends. I head over to the where we booked the tour and ask them to contact the Elephant Rescue Park. No luck. I assumed they wouldn’t find the item that cost almost ten times what I paid for the tour, but I chalk it up to a donation to the park and one less expensive thing for me to worry about during the rest of the travels.

Fixed Fights

My love for combat sports goes back to as long as I can remember. When we get down to the islands, I plan to spend a week training in one of the many Muay Thai camps, but Ryan doesn’t share my appreciation for blood sports. Luckily with Janey wanting to experience the fights, Ryan agrees to go. I knew going in that Chiang Mai is touristy and the fights would likely be as well, but didn’t know exactly what to expect. We each paid a little over 10 American and headed into the stadium. We were sat in one of the seats in front of one of the many bars surrounding the ring. Fights didn’t start on time so Ryan and I played some billiards on the weirdest pool table I’ve ever seen. The fights begin and I explain a little about Muay Thai to Janey and Ryan. Some lackluster fights to start, then a match between a six foot something Australian and a very tiny Thai guy. With the Australian’s arms being longer than the Thai guy’s leg, it didn’t last long. Now we know the show is meant for farangs, or non Thais. The next fight was two Thai girls, much closer matchup and enjoyable to watch. Next was an Australian guy about my size against a chubbier Thai guy. We thought this was another fixed match until we saw the Thai guy stretching his leg up to his head.

Traditional Muay Thai fights are five rounds, the first round is usually slower and used to feel out the fighters. Rounds two through four are where most of the action happens. Round five is usually the fighters showing respect to each other, and if the other rounds are particularly one sided, they usually touch gloves and concede to much slower fighting. This fight followed that formula. The Thai guy was dodging all of the Australian’s attacks with seeming ease. By the end of round two, the Australian’s left thigh and shoulder werfe just blood red bruises. Rounds three and four were more of a beating, with round four containing some straight crosses that put the Australian on the ground. One even buckled him straight to the ground. After this one, the head strikes and kicks in general came less and less frequently from the Thai. Round five starts, the Australian rushes and throws a few punches that the Thai guy had dodged with ease earlier on and falls to the ground as if knocked out. A quick ten count and the fight is called. The Thai guy leaves the ring and is laughing and having a beer with a friend. Our initial guess of fixed fights was unfortunately correct. A final fight against two younger Thai guys and some joke rounds of blindfolded kickboxing and we were done.

A Shrine Fit For a King (And Queen)

The final thing we wanted to make sure we did before Janey left was check out Doi Inthanon National Park. We saw our hostel was going on Janey’s last day, but haggled around the city and found the same tour for 75% of the price again. Up again at 7am, we hop in a van to head to the park. First stop is a waterfall. A few good vantage points for pictures and a set of stairs that lead you onto the rocks to get closer to the water. A short drive and we are at the highest point in Thailand, 2,565 meters above sea level. Now the trek starts.

We signed up for the two hour trek through these mountains. Through the jungle we go, all the way up to some sub alpine meadows, a weird sight that high up. Some beautiful views and pictures and we walk along the ridge until we can see the Doi Inthanon Pagodas, two large shrines built for the a king and queen beloved by the Thai people. A little further trek and we’re back at the van to head to the pagodas.

Upon arriving, you head up some stairs and can go left to the king’s pagoda or right to the queen’s. We started with the king’s, a large brown and bronze structure. Pop off our shoes for the standard prayer practice and head inside. Outside of the standard Buddha statues, the inside of the king’s pagoda contains stone murals of the Four Holy Places of Buddha, accompanied by descriptions of each places descriptions. Outside of the pagoda is a garden, overlooking more mountain ranges. Next, we head to the queen’s pagoda, a similar structure to the king’s but this time in purple. Similar Buddha statue inside, but no more Buddhist murals, bummer. Outside, a much more intricate garden than outside of the king’s pagoda. There’s a small pound with a wooden bridge crossing it. From the side of the bridge opposite the pagoda, you have a perfect view of anyone on the bridge with both pagodas behind them. So the perfect photo spot for us. Hunger kicks in, off to lunch.

Running into picture position before other tourists

We head to a lunch spot and a big buffet is waiting for us. We make some French Canadian friends and fill our stomachs. Next stop is a street market. Much more expensive than the other markets we have been to in the city, but the tour brought us here, so we know this trick, we’ve been on tours before. Next stop is a hill tribe village. We were a bit worried because there’s a lot of tourist options for visiting the long neck tribes, and we tried to keep all of our activites as ethical as possible. This was a more standard tribe and we stopped to try coffee. The tribe used to be overrun with an opium problem before the king did research on the area and found that the soil is perfect to grow coffee. Now the tribe grows coffee that is sold around Thailand. They offer us some of their things, but like most of our Thai experience, are not pushy. We try some of their coffee, some coffee drinkers say it’s good, I fill mine with sugar like the six year old I am. Tour over, time to go home.

I Think That’s a Guy

Thailand is well known for its “ladyboys”, so much so that it is one of the preferred places to get a sex change operation, as they do it so frequently. We discuss with our new French Canadian friends about going to see a show and head off. Another Canadian from our room asks to join us as it is his last night to see a show, important note for later. Surrounded by a night market with cheap eats, we find the show. Free entry with two drink minimum, fair enough. The show was ladyboys lipsyncing and doing choreographed dances, changing their outfits to mimic the singer of the original song. I explain how people at these things like to single me out and mess with me and tuck myself in the corner. The roommate grabs a seat between me and the stage. We grab some drinks and watch the show.

About an hour in, there is a goofier part with one of the entertainers holding a balloon under her dress and singing a song. She approaches our table staring at me, I know how this ends. As she reaches the table, she realizes the Canadian is in the way and begins pointing at her stomach and then him and repeating “Papa”. He gets dragged on stage where she pops the balloon and holds a sock monkey. She dances with him and requests a kiss on the cheek. As he goes to fulfill the request, she turns so her lips are in line with his, classic joke. A few more songs and we consider leaving.

One of the ladyboys walks out to an Ariana Grande song. We looked over, spot on looks like Ariana. Same mannerisms, same jaw movements while singing. Next song is Nikki Minaj, same thing. Spot on look and mannerisms. The next song I didn’t know, so I assume it was a similar thing and the song included Ariana Grande and Nikki Minaj, so all three were on stage at once. The show came to an end after over two hours, experience checked off the list.

Finding a Grand Piano in the Hotel Lobby

When I was employed, a man much more versed in life experience was generous enough to impart some wisdom on me. One of the things we often referenced was learning things that don’t have immediate value so you have the skills when they are valuable later. Anyone who knows me knows that this is one of my favorite ways to spend my time. Presumably in jest, he suggested I learn find a native Thai person to teach me Thai massage to score some brownie points with a future spouse. Always one to take a joke too far, I began looking through the Thai massage schools in Chiang Mai. In a comedic bonus, as I was about to book thirty hours of Thai massage courses in a classroom, I was suggested a Thai Massage school that was one woman who only did up to two students at a time, as I was originally proposed to learn. Promising to be a more intensive course with much more individual focus, much more my learning style, we jumped at the chance.

We met Miss Wanna on the street outside of where she would be teaching us. We wash our feet, a standard pre-Thai massage practice and are led to three mattress pads with pillows and notebooks on top. The notebooks contain pictures and blank spaces. Miss Wanna went through each step, showing us hold it is done and how it should feel while we jotted down notes next to the pictures.

We somehow refrained from injuring each other during class

After we finished a section, we would practice on each other while Miss Wanna gave tips or corrected mistakes. The first day we covered the feet, legs, hands and arms. The second covered the backs of legs, the upper and lower back and the head. Eight hours in total and we know how to do an hour long Thai massage. You’re welcome, future wife.

Living a Normal Life Out of a Backpack

After the ladyboy show, we said goodbye to Janey. She had dealt with us long enough and had to head back to the States. Most of our days have been laid back, counter to my usual style of travel. With the length of travel, we have to space things out and try to live our lives. We switched to a more lowkey hostel and spent a little less time attached at the hip. Back to regular workouts at the park and trying all the food spots. Figuring out the most effective way to handle necessities like getting laundry done and planning for further travel. We checked out a Thai movie theater (I had to see Spidey in theaters) and even found sand volleyball, so life as usual for me. With Janey gone, our speed of travel will increase as we don’t have to be anywhere for a planned flight. Next, we will move on to Chiang Rai and make our way to Laos to take the two day slow boat to Luang Prabang before our motorcycle lessons.

Asia, Traveling

There is No Pie in Pai : January 4th-January 10th

January 9, 2019 SamuelLMoney Leave a comment

762. My new least favorite number. This is the number of curves on the road between Chiang Mai and Pai. Having a normally strong stomach, I didn’t think anything of the motion sickness warnings. Then being put all the way in the back of the van, where the AC couldn’t reach me, I realized my arrogance. All movie watching and music listening had to be stopped. All of my mental strength needed to be used to keep my head and stomach from exploding. Luckily, at the halfway point, Ryan and I switched seats. He went in the back to get sick and I got his shotgun spot. The downside being that I got to watch how recklessly the van driver flew around these curves, filled with other vans and defenseless scooters, void of guard rails. I guess I would choose that fate over the sickness though. Three hours later, we were temporary residents of the little, hippy, mountain town of Pai.

We made it to our hostel, Common Grounds. Immediately welcomed with hellos, we stepped into an open area. Pool table, bar, floor cushions, hammocks, and of course, hostel dogs. We ask if there is any pie in Pai and we’re show a hand tattoo of pie, but told otherwise there is no pie (this isn’t a lie, we checked everywhere). We were led to our room, nice AC and big beds, score. With the promise of a fire show, we head out with the group for a bar crawl. Two of the dogs led the way and we were told they always lead the bar crawl, assured to get their share of street snacks and head scratches. We make it to a bar street and realize there is no necessity to speak Thai here. Almost everything in English, the only Thai people being the actual shop and restaurant workers. We have a few drinks and chat with the others. We are ready for a fire show. When we ask when it is, we find out everyone decided to abandon it and didn’t tell us. The next one is Sunday…the day after we leave.

The second day was the day we decided to learn to scoot. Scooters are everywhere in Thailand and especially in Pai. Everyone also drives like they have a deathwish and a deadline, so our desire to ride was low. Scooting is pretty practical in Pai and once outside of the main town, it is open roads. We grab three scooters and after about thirty minutes of anxiety ridden swerving around, we all have it down. We take the scooters to the Big Buddha on the hill. A good number of stairs and we are treated to a giant Buddha you can see from everywhere in Pai and a beautiful view of the rest of Pai.

Next, we took the scooters to Pai Canyon. We hiked around from a few hours and scrambled up the harder paths. After a while, we found a nicer area, less populated with tourists and relaxed for the sunset.

Ryan walking a narrow path in Pai Canyon

We used the next day to relax and make some plans for the following day. We found out that the storm Pubak was supposed to come from the south and hit Chiang Mai and Pai. Not wanting to take that bus trip back and agreeing that we would rather sit around Pai than Chiang Mai if trapped in the rain, we booked two more nights. This also meant we could hit a fire show.

The following day, we took another swing at scooters. Quick stop at the ATM and realize my ATM card is gone. Awesome. Call Charles Schwab, realize I don’t know how addresses work in Thailand and scramble to figure out where we are staying next so I can send my card. Handled, scooter time.

First, we hit The Land Split. This is a farm that falls along some fault lines. Back in 2008, the farm was split at the line, destroying the farm and again in 2011. The farmer now uses it as an attraction and does a small amount of farming. He provides roselle juice (hibiscus), potatoes, banana chips, peanuts and papaya for free and just asks for donations. Luckily, this is right up Ryan’s alley, so he got a good amount of money from us. Delicious snacks down, we strolled around and saw the land split. Promising to stop by on the way back, we head off.

Next, we head off to Pombak waterfalls. Some more climbing and we are there. Icy water and all. Not much else to see. Grab a quick pic and off to the Bamboo Bridge. The bridge is located on a rice farm and there is over a mile of bridge. They add in some touristy picture spots when the rice isn’t growing, but we still thought it was nice. Nearing the end of the bridge, there is a large field filled with cows. At the end, there is a beautiful temple. Hunger strikes, time to head off. We head home and realize it is Sunday, fire show time.

Ryan and Janey walking along the Bamboo Bridge

The fire shows take place at the Pai Paradise bar which is connected to the Pai Backpackers Paradise Hostel. As you enter, it looks a bit like a dystopian rave. Crazy bright paints lit by blacklights surround the bar, with pool tables and pong tables. A big open area stands between the bar and the stage area with seating. The bar here offers its more adventurous patrons “Happy” shakes, filled with psilocybin. The open area is where the fire show took place. A hooded figure sprinted around the area, pouring something on the ground. A match is dropped and the area becomes a fiery peace symbol. Five or six people step into the now fireless area and begin spinning fire poi. After these people finish up, another five or six people step in with other fire toys. After these, a girl stands alone with a staff with three flames on each side and begins performing. Back to five or six people and then back to a solo girl using a fire hula hoop to the song “I Miss You” by Blink 182. The big group comes back. “Dang!” comes on, rest in peace, more fire. The original hooded figure does a solo routine using every type of fire toy we have seen so far. The whole group steps out and bows. We assume the show is over, but people continue to do fire tricks for another hour or so.

At the staging area, a couple begins a beat box show. The man is creating noises similar to an EDM show, with the bass to match, and the girl’s high pitched singing matched it perfectly. This continued for about an hour, as the songs got faster and more complex. A hearfelt goodbye and a request to spread love and they were gone. A long walk home and it was time to end this long day.

Another day of hanging out in Pai assuming there would be rain and there wasn’t. We booked two extra days to dodge rain that never came. We decided we were beat and decided to check out “Black Mirror: Bandersnatch”. Ryan and I, both having years of being video game completionists, saw all of the endings in about two hours. Final day in Pai over.

On our very last day, it was finally raining. Funny joke, sky. We now get to do this curvy ride back to Chiang Mai in the rain. We trade hugs and instagram handles with hostel friends, pet the dogs goodbye and we’re off. Back to Chiang Mai

Asia, Transportation, Traveling

One Ticket to the Other Side of the World

December 29, 2018 SamuelLMoney Leave a comment

It seems like if I got all of you to read me ramble about this trip, I should at least have a post about the trip to get here. I believe in being transparent about the negative aspects of good things, but they are usually necessities. So here’s the trip: Cleveland to Dallas to Seoul to Chiang Mai. Thirty hours of my life sitting in a seat in the sky.

I left the day after Christmas, which means Christmas Eve and Christmas were spent doing the final cleaning out of my apartment and trying to see everyone humanly possible. Anyone who knows me knows I am an extremely gifted procrastinator, so I finished cleaning out my apartment and handed in my keys at 9p.m. on Christmas. My flight left Cleveland at 6:30a.m. on December 26th. I left my car at my Dad’s house and they didn’t print my Seoul or Chiang Mai tickets and said I had to get them from the airport, so I wanted to go early to ensure that I got them with no issues. This meant that I had to go to the airport around 4:30a.m., so my Dad and I stayed up until I had to go to the airport. Around 2a.m., I decided I needed at least an hour of sleep. So I told my Dad I would be up in an hour and crawled into bed. His dog, Jinx, was nice enough to come cuddle with me (Sorry Dad, I know he isn’t allowed on the bed) and I fell asleep pretty quick. I got to the airport and found out they meant I had to get them from the airport I was headed to Seoul from, so no luck until Dallas. Two hours of sitting around with Ryan later, and we both headed off. He went to JFK and I headed to Dallas.

An uneventful three hour flight with only one hour of sleep later and I was in Dallas. As soon as I arrived, I headed to my gate and told the KoreanAir desk clerk that I needed my further tickets. She said I would need proof of onward travel to get my tickets, so I called Ryan to make sure we did the same thing. He had his laptop so I had him look up cheap flights. There were plenty of tickets with 24 hour total refunds but if I needed to show proof when I landed, it would be outside of that 24 hour window. Those were a bit more expensive if we didn’t get to refund them, so we decided on the cheapest we could find. I bought the $48 ticket Ryan found me and got my next two tickets. In standard Ryan fashion, he called me ten minutes later to let me know that he had found tickets for 26 dollars and gotten them for himself. I walked around for about an hour and then sat around for the last hour before my life, making sure everything I owned was charged and my limbs had a good stretch. Dallas to Seoul, 14 hour flight, the longest of my life so far.

The inflight animation of the fourteen hour Dallas to Seoul flight.

The flight itself was daunting and a weird experience in and of itself. Each row was split into three sets of three seats. I got the middle seat in the middle set, standard luck. I slept for the first hour, watched a movie, wrote some letters, watched another movie, regretted not putting games on my phone and then got some more sleep. The screen in front of me had a counter as to how much longer of a flight we had, a cruel joke disguised as a helpful feature. After all of these things, I was certain that I was at least halfway through my flight. No dice, 8 hours remaining. Everyone knows I am a huge movie junkie, 14 hours of movies is nothing for me, but trapped in a single seat is a different story. Luckily, they just kept feeding me, so hunger wasn’t an issue. I made sure to keep adequately hydrated, but they were really pushing the beer and wine. As fun as being drunk sounded, being hungover while trapped in a single seat sounds like a special kind of hell. Another movie down, I was running out of the interesting ones provided on the plane. 4 hours left, and I was starting to wonder if they would just let me jump out and swim the rest of the way. Thanks to the beauty of Netflix, I had downloaded some crime thriller series and began watching the episodes. Four episodes later and I was down to an hour and each episode was 45 minutes. One more episode and I am home free. Finished the episode and find out that timer is to when the plane will start it’s descent. Plane finally lands with an hour until my next flight. Unfortunately, we don’t get off the plane until forty minutes until my next flight. Added bonus, the Seoul Korea airport is gigantic and I am about a fifteen minute walk from the customs area. I make it through security, ten minutes until flight. I get a little excited to grab some food that isn’t from a plane and maybe lay on the ground or something. Mistake, the gate is about a ten minute walk. Ryan is messaging to ask if I got lost.

I hop on the plane and grab my aisle seat next to Ryan. Feels like four hours, but it’s been twenty two hours since we parted ways in Cleveland. We trade stories of our flights and Ryan tells me how cool the Seoul airport was, even sadder now. This is only a six hour flight and then we will be landing at 10:30p.m. Chiang Mai time. We decided we should refrain from sleeping so that we can dodge jetlag. I take a quick count, I slept for one hour after doing things nonstop all day on Christmas and got a total of three hours of sleep on my other two flights. The odds are low, but my body has done better for worse reasons. We play some games, we chat, we eat. I attempt to watch the final episode of my show and I can feel my brain refusing any sort of comprehension. Ryan grabs the provided blanket and rolls over to sleep. I agree that I could be more comfortable and wake up two hours later. Thirty minutes and we are in Chiang Mai, perfect. We land and remember we don’t read or speak Thai.

The inflight animation of the six hour final flight.

Airports are usually pretty self explanatory no matter what country you are in. Lines in airports are usually not as self explanatory. We get to an area filled with people with a bunch of signs that all vaguely seem to say the same thing. We need our arrival visa, we find the “Visa on Arrival” line. Before we hop in, I see United States is not listed. I do a quick Google (Thanks Sprint for the 2G everywhere) and find out that Americans have a visa exemption for arrival. We hop in to the longest line that seems to be about half Americans. We wait around for about thirty minutes hoping we are in the correct line and luckily, we are. We get to the front, I had in my arrival form and the clerk tells me I have to get back into line. Doesn’t sound like my plan for the day, so I quickly jot down the address to our hostel and we get our visas. Nothing to declare so we are on our way out the door. We exchange some cash for surprisingly close to the market exchange rate and dodge the taxis offering rides. We make it outside and realize there are none outside harassing people for rides, not something I have seen in other countries. We end up flagging one down and showing him the address. He quotes us two hundred baht, about seven dollars, pretty much American pricing, but at this point, we are about to pass out in the street so we agree that splitting seven dollars won’t kill us. Hop in the taxi and get to experience some authentic Thai driving and we make it to the hostel.
We settle our room debt (Seventy dollars total for two of us for seven days, score) and head to our room. It’s now about midnight Chiang Mai time. We open the door and the couple in our room are listening to something at full volume. Both take some long needed showers and get some much needed sleep. Thirty hours total and it only feels like six. I respond to all the texts and snaps I missed and realize that it’s about noon back at home. Time travel at its finest.